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demo

by shutty

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1.
4 x 6 01:18
i tried to leave some lipstick stains all over the 4x6 prints you got just the other day but all that's left is a little red and the memory that i did that once you know that i'm terrible at goodbye you know that i'm terrible at saying what i'm feeling but i've gotta get this off my mind it just seems like sometimes you just say these things to try to hurt my feelings so please don't take this personally but i have come to realize that i'm just like all the others who've wandered in and wasted all yr time
2.
*cigarette mementos on your porch act like you don't need them anymore i think you might miss them the same way they miss you (too) every year i still get older every part of me will get colder i hope that you know that i'm trying to feel the same things i used to but life moves too fast/i'm always moving too fast and i have such a hard time looking back * every single time i call you it goes directly to voicemail i hope that you know that i'm just trying to see if you're doing alright but i don't know if you care or if you're even listening i'm sorry! it's late! i just wanna know if you're alright! took some time to figure out all the things that made you proud i'll think of that summer all the time * (i don't know if you still care or if you're trying not to feel it anymore. please don't go. i'm trying to make things right by you)
3.
you said yr autumn was almost perfect an idealistic summer you made a whole bunch of brand new friends some of them you decided to live with moved out of that old apartment a party at cook douglass you made quick eyes with someone but that was like a year ago you've been talking on and off for a while now you said you could do without but darling i know you i slept on your couch that night i overheard that guy you like and that girl from 14E getting busy on your kitchen floor and i overheard something more i know i can't be positive but i heard you cry yourself to sleep the same night danny fell in love with sandy on your kitchen floor
4.
pulling up to another college town house sipping on whatever there's a case of sitting silent in the third row head against the window dreaming of a person i used to know one day i'll get bored of this haircut maybe soon i'll never want to be in a band my dad said "it's fun right now but it will kill you one day" they used to do haircuts in their driveway i got a sideshave in their bathroom there were so many people talking but no matter where we were, i could always hear them fine we'd always kiss softly because we'd always start coughing i think it's funny but it's telling that i could never commit to anything that long of course sometimes i get lonely sometimes i'll wear the socks they gave me sometimes i'll feel dumb sentimental things about things they left behind (like) a torn up sweater a copy of the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy these things shouldn't mean a god damn thing to me but whenever i get lonely whenever i wear the socks they gave me whenever it starts snowing for the first time i'll feel the same things that i felt when i was 16 the future's inconsequential and i can still feel emotional i wish we never kissed that night because i think in time we could have been best friends but now we'll never know
5.
i'm at the greyhound in albany trying to find words to change yr mind but i write the same three things down every time it's like my life's on repeat it's like some boring tv it's why you cancelled cable it's probably why you gave up on me too *is that why you got that tattoo? is it really that hard to stay close to you? is it really why you got that tattoo? is it really that hard to stay this close to you? i'm at a rest stop somewhere outside of platekill and i can't change yr mind i'll write the same three things down for the hundreth time and i'll continue down the road blast defiance ohio, act like you don't think about them anymore blast defiance ohio, you can cry if you want to, just don't let them know blast defiance ohio, you can cry if you want to, just don't let them know blast defiance ohio, cry in front of yr friends, you can let them know ************

about

"... stop me if you've heard this already"

loose ends strung together after a long time of floating.

credits

released January 28, 2020

recorded on and off for a minute by mtty jms

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about

shutty New Brunswick, New Jersey

unorganized recording projects

leaning towards pop

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